Everybody Hurts

To all you doubters out there, question no more. The world DOES indeed revolve around me. It seem that during the time that I was flooded with depressing thoughts and emotions, the sky – or maybe even God himself – wept on my behalf.

For the benefit of those not in the know (i.e. the friends overseas or hermits with no interest in any local newspapers), the Malaysian capital suffered another flash flood that is reminiscent of the one we experienced in 2003 - oddly on the very same date. Considering the traffic conditions in our cherished state, it is no surprise then to find that such sudden downpour nearly crippled our roads, more so than usual.

This makes today’s continuation of the Anthem Anthology appropriate. As you will see by clicking on the play button, the music video features a massive traffic gridlock, not unlike the congestion that plagued downtown KL yesterday. It is definitely worth the lengthy loading time though, as the scenes of stagnant chaos is punctuated by quirky, albeit morose at times, thought quotes that we all can relate to one time or the other.

The lyrics are pretty self-explanatory too, without the intricate personifications that are favoured by most songwriters. I must admit that this song has been used to drag me out of my doldrums lately, and it is my hope that this works for readers undergoing discouraging circumstances too. Heck, the Corrs did a cover for it. True, severity of cases differ widely in terms of impact acuity, therefore I will not justify my anguish by comparing my misery with anyone else.

To the wounded now, acceptance of the possible existence of others with our similar distresses can be comforting while the faith that emerges from the acknowledgement of their successes in prevailing over their troubles is rejuvenating. So remember, everybody hurts… sometimes.

When the day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life
Well hang on

Don't let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts… sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along

When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life
Well hang on

‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts…

Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life
To hang on

Well, everybody hurts… sometimes
Everybody cries

Everybody hurts… sometimes
And everybody hurts… sometimes

So hold on, hold on
(Everybody hurts, you are not alone)

The Sudden Transformation

This may come as a surprise considering the last entry I posted here, but this post will be a rant. Only a little less than two days have passed since my previous declaration of contentment but dismal proceedings have amassed, so those who are emotional and sensitive, avert your eyes now. This is potentially hurtful. I have no desire to wreck anyone’s day, let alone weekend, but I feel that without this release, mine would be despite the many distractions available.

…

As I stare at the blinking cursor primed to record my first words, wondering what words to use to communicate this train of thought as tactfully as possible, I realise I am not dwelling in the simple things that make me enjoy life, or at least not enough.

I am frustrated…

I am frustrated at the fear and anxiety due to the coinciding schedules that jeopardizes my career progression opportunities.
I am frustrated at the hopelessness and the helplessness I feel, what with me losing my previous edge in counselling suicidal depressives.
I am frustrated at my overzealousness to accommodate, if not please, others by abiding to their many diverse preferences, instead of attending to mine.
I am frustrated at the jealousy and irritation stemmed from the glorification and idolization towards others for accomplishments similar to mine while I am ignored.
I am frustrated at the hypocritical nature of particular individuals who expects only the best I have to offer while avoiding me when I display even a hint of my afflictions.

I will be in a petulant mood today. Stay away at all cost.

I am a Rock

Thank God it’s Friday!

Even though it wasn’t that bad this week, the allure of a weekend of rest and recuperation cannot be denied. In addition to that, the promise of fellowship and games, albeit most likely without an important ingredient, is more reason to shout this phrase at the top of a corporate slave’s lungs. I think I just frightened a colleague of mine who unwittingly passed by my desk. It must be a creepy sight, with me and my bloodshot eyes mumbling to myself to savour these words.

In retrospect, despite the implications with my song choices this whole week, it has been a great week for me. This auspicious beginning of the month bodes a smooth journey ahead since these seven days bore witness to many significant events: the advancement in my career-actualization, my rekindling of treasured friendships, the initiation of surprising new ones, and not forgetting the strengthening of existing brotherhood bonds. Quite a mouthful, huh? Quite a week too. =)

Now that I have finally sat down and think about it, the fantastic week cannot be attributed to the many momentous occurrences, but rather the interaction that I was fortunate enough to have with people across my intimacy scale. I guess it is not a surprise to find me drawn to psychology. As I have told the interviewers, my passion is with people. So, it is ironic for me to find this very week featured an exceptionally higher number of friends who decided to go into a recluse.

Surprisingly, I understand the mindset of each individual who chose this lonely path, and it is not all unjustified. Hey, even a popular guy like me went through phases similar to this often enough to empathise. I just hope those who can relate to this post will one day discover the exhilaration of living, and to venture into new (potentially dangerous) territories of meeting people. Until then, I dedicate this song to all you aspiring hermits out there.

I tried searching my memory for more optimistic lyrical content but most have crap poetry. I can only assume that songwriters have to be high or intoxicated to be able to churn out statements reflecting mortal bliss in songs. Thus, credit should be given to one Midnight Angel - who apparently prefer, if not actively seeks isolation too - for introducing this song to me. As can be seen from the clip, today’s song is a ‘classic’, and is therefore beyond my musical knowledge.

The lyrics are straightforward enough, so none of my usual interpretation commentary is needed this time round. Funnily, this video triggers a homophobe side of me that I never knew existed. Maybe it is because this video depicts the ostensibly normal day of two grown men performing frivolous activities we come to expect only in children… or couples trying to be recapture their lost youth. I have nothing against living it up but please, leave that to the kids.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well, I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armour
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries