This may come as a surprise considering the last entry I posted here, but this post will be a rant. Only a little less than two days have passed since my previous declaration of contentment but dismal proceedings have amassed, so those who are emotional and sensitive, avert your eyes now. This is potentially hurtful. I have no desire to wreck anyone’s day, let alone weekend, but I feel that without this release, mine would be despite the many distractions available.
As I stare at the blinking cursor primed to record my first words, wondering what words to use to communicate this train of thought as tactfully as possible, I realise I am not dwelling in the simple things that make me enjoy life, or at least not enough.
I am frustrated…
I am frustrated at the fear and anxiety due to the coinciding schedules that jeopardizes my career progression opportunities.
I am frustrated at the hopelessness and the helplessness I feel, what with me losing my previous edge in counselling suicidal depressives.
I am frustrated at my overzealousness to accommodate, if not please, others by abiding to their many diverse preferences, instead of attending to mine.
I am frustrated at the jealousy and irritation stemmed from the glorification and idolization towards others for accomplishments similar to mine while I am ignored.
I am frustrated at the hypocritical nature of particular individuals who expects only the best I have to offer while avoiding me when I display even a hint of my afflictions.
I will be in a petulant mood today. Stay away at all cost.
3 Comments:
People change over time. And you develop different skills. We often want what we can't have. Just be thankful for the things you already have. You're good at many things. Make use of those.
Maybe it's not that people want to avoid you, but that you push them away.
I hope all goes well for your job. I know there's not much I can do. But I guess there's no point worrying about it, right?
Take care of yourself.
I concur that we should look to the things we already have and be thankful. What did you think I meant when I said I'm dwelling in the simple pleasures?
But there is a problem with that way of life when it comes to our traits and our attributes. How well do we really know ourselves to be able to identify what we're good at?
More often than not, we do not know what we are apparently good at until a trusted friend share it with us. And it will be good too that our gifts are aligned with our aspirations. Doesn't look that way now, does it?
No matter. I hope my next few posts will be more descriptive of the mentality I am adopting right now.
I'm sorry if you feel that your friends don't re-affirm you enough.
But maybe you turn a deaf ear unto what you don't want to hear. Accept what you are or aren't. Think about the good things that you are and stop focusing on the things you want to be so much. Appreciate your gifts. Because you have many. I hope you will come to realize that.
Although the rest of your readers may not tell you enough, I certainly hope that you are aware of this fact.
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